Your bit of grit

We tend to judge our lives on the way our day to day existence makes us feel.

If we feel relaxed and happy then it's a good life.

If we are stressed, stagnant  and miserable then it’s a bad one.

There are two things that make us contribute to this judgement. There’s our outer world and our inner one.

Our outer one:

We may have something that’s bothering us. It may be a big problem or a tiny one.

However small a problem it may seem, it can still make us very unhappy. The longer we let it go on without addressing it, the worse it becomes.

If you have a bit of grit in your shoe, after a couple of hours this is really annoying. If it’s still there a year later, 5 years later or even 10 years later, the pain becomes so intense that you may struggle to get out of bed in the morning. ‘Oh I can’t face another day with that bit of grit in my shoe!’

What’s your bit of grit?

You may feel that your bit if grit is so small and insignificant that you should be able to deal with it. You should be able to brush it off. “Look at what Mr X has to deal with, and he manages it with a smile. I’m moaning about nothing.”

What Mr X has to deal with may be awful and he may appear to deal with it well (what happens behind closed doors could be another story) but that doesn’t mean that your own issue disappears as a result.

It doesn’t mean that because someone is worse off than you that you deserve to be as miserable as they are.

Someone may be looking at you and your issue and feeling bad for you in the same way that you do when looking at poor Mr X with his problem.

This could be absolutely anything. Maybe to do with your partner, your children, your boss, work colleagues, staff, weight, fitness, social life…… the list is endless. How your bit of grit makes you feel will be unique to you.

It’s not a competition. If something is a problem for you then it is.

It doesn’t have to be worse than the next persons to be valid.

So, whatever is acting as your bit of grit in life, consider doing something about it. Address it before it grows bigger and turns into a big rock that is ruining every day for you.

Anyway, that’s the outer perspective.

The other perspective that contributes to our judgement as to whether we are happy comes from inside.

The inner one:

The problem that we thought about above may be an isolated issue, or it could be indicative of your general resilience to others and to situations in life.

If this is so, it could be that you aren’t living a life that is in alignment with your inner self.

This may sound a bit deep and heavy but it’s really just about being true to ourselves.

If you live a life that’s suited to you, you are inherently happier and therefore more resilient to things that go on around you.

Establish what your bit of grit is and get rid of it.

If you need my help then you know where I am but otherwise,

dig out that bit of grit and throw it far away! 

by Jessica Hylands Life and Confidence Coach