For most of us, most of the time, a persona isn’t something that we consciously create.
We may have an overbearing boss at work and need to appear assertive. As that’s what’s required in order to get on in that particular job, that’s the characteristic that we might adopt.
We may not feel assertive inside but if the role we have demands it then we step up and act the part.
Whatever the reason we create a persona to hide behind, the results are pretty much the same.
Let’s use the example here when we do it in relationships.
You are with a partner who is very insecure and as a result tends towards being a bit controlling.
When they get jealous they may get nasty with you. Or sulky.
In order to keep things sweet, you may find yourself acting a role.
You act quiet as a mouse and not very sociable because they are lovely when you’re like that!
We're so happy!
Life feels great!
You aren’t living true to yourself.
You aren’t being honest with either yourself or your partner.
After a while, life doesn’t feel good.
If you’ve been acting a role for a long time, it’s possible that you forget who the real you is.
You created this persona a long time back and don’t even remember doing it.
When you then start to feel unhappy you don’t recognise that you aren’t living true to yourself.
It can help us deal with situations that might otherwise be unpleasant or unbearable.
It’s hard work living what is essentially a lie. It’s like constantly swimming upstream.
You are suppressing your natural reactions and responses to things constantly.
You chastise yourself if you have a thought outside of what your role requires. This thought will be your natural way but it feels wrong within the persona you’ve created for yourself.
It may not be that you have created this persona in a relationship but at work, with your kids or with certain friends.
There may be things that you can’t face dealing with and so you have essentially buried them behind a persona.
It seemed to work at first and you’ve got so used to living behind it that you accept it as your true self.
If you need any help you know where I am but otherwise I wish you all the best in digging deep and finding the real you!
by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach
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