How do you come across to others?

Whether we realise it or not, our level of self-confidence and self-esteem come across to others.

If it is lacking, it is as if you’re saying ‘I don’t trust myself, I don’t value myself, and I’m not very good at anything. I would suggest that you view me in the same way’


People will see you in the way that you see yourself.

If you don't control this then they will see what's underneath.

Seeing your insecurity, fear or embarrassment may be misunderstood and taken the wrong way.

When you are presenting yourself to anyone, it’s a good idea to prepare yourself.

Presenting doesn’t have to be a formal ‘presentation. It may be talking to a client, a new set of friends or thePTA.

It may be dealing with a builder and trying to get the best price or the best job done.

Whoever it is and under whatever circumstances - be prepared.

So how do we prepare ourselves for this?

Be energised.

If you’re not feeling on top form, maybe because you’ve just had an argument with someone, you’re not feeling well, or you’re just generally lacking in self-confidence, this will come across.

The other person won’t know what it is that they’re picking up on but they’ll be picking up on something that doesn’t sit right with them.

The assumption may be that this is a negative vibe. You won’t therefore achieve what it is that you want to.

If dealing with a client they may feel you can’t be trusted.

If talking to a new friend they may think that you don’t like them.

So, for your preparation;

inject some energy and enthusiasm into yourself!


This will ensure that you come across at your best. It will help to mask insecurities that may be misconstrued.

This injection of enthusiasm can be done physically:

If practical and appropriate, do some star jumps, sing, run round the block, or make yourself laugh!

When you laugh, your brain releases all the feel-good things that naturally occur when you genuinely laugh. The rest of you won’t know the difference and will react positively.

It can be done psychologically:

Think of a time when you felt great.


Think of a time when something really made you laugh.

You remember that time when so-and-so did that?!

We all rolled about laughing! It was so funny!

Or do you remember that the time when that person gave you a massive compliment about how wonderful you were? How did that make you feel?

Remember the emotions. Remember the feeling it gave you.

In remembering these times it will show in you face and your demeanour. You will be feeling happier, more inspired, and generally better about yourself.

Any of these things will make you come across much more positively to the person or people that you’re speaking to.

Friends will catch the happy vibe, Clients will have confidence in you. The builder will feel you aren’t a pushover.

Overall you are much more likely to get the outcome that you want.

Try it the next time that you are meeting friends.

Before you walk into the café to meet for coffee, go through this process. You may well be greeted with the question “So what have YOU been up to?! You look great!!”

Hope you enjoy playing with this tip to come across well to others!

Here’s to leading a happier and more confident life!

Look forward to speaking soon!


Look here ....... live the life that you want!


by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach