Are you sitting on a red-hot cinder?

Albert Einsten​ said

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. "

There are two different things that spring to mind from this quote.......

The first is:

If you aren’t doing what you enjoy in life, change it.


Does the way that you spend you working days, or indeed your weekends, feel like sitting on a redhot cinder? If so, does this feel like a good way to spend your life?

I'm guessing not.

If this is the case for you, what can you do to change it?

What would you prefer to be doing?

In terms of your work, decide what you’d love to do.

How can you get into that field?

Look closer at why you’re not happy where you are.

It may not be the work itself that you don’t like but the atmosphere, how you think others see you, or the lack of promotion prospects.

Look hard and see what you could change to make things better.

It may be as small as moving your desk or as big as changing career direction but whatever it is, it’s not likely to resolve itself alone and so will need you to be proactive.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

The second thing is about relativity.


Is your definition of this how you compare, relative to others?

Do you find that you compare yourself to others all the time?

Do you see them as better than you?

More successful?



Something to remember here is that you can’t see the whole story.

They may well be slimmer, fitter etc but are they happy?

And do you imagine that being this way would make you happy? Would it make all of your current issues disappear?

Very often we look at others and admire the wrong part.

By this I mean that we see the most popular person at the party and want to be like them.

We want to be tall, blond, rich, good-looking, slim and fit.

In fact that’s not what we want.


What we want to be is as confident and popular as they are.

And this is not the same thing.

You can become slim, fit and blond but it's not likley to change your character or your confidence on any deep level.

It may give you a bit more confidence to walk into a bar on your own but not real confidence within yourself which is what counts.

In terms of the atmosphere that seems to surround this person at the party – their popularity for example - you can achieve what they have but you don't have to look like them to do it.

Purely by being self-confident, self-assured and loving yourself you will feel fantastic and attract others to you!

It may well follow as a side effect of being more confident that you get your hair styled, you join the gym, get fit and as a consequence lose weight, but the goal is to feel great and not focus on the physical or material things.


Being confident is the way to be happy.

When you’re confident you will follow the path that you want to rather than the one that you feel you should. This means that in turn you will be happier.

I do hope that you have enjoyed reading this and it has helped you to see how you can improve your life.

If you would like some personal help from me to achieve happiness, please do get in touch for a free chat otherwise I wish you all the best in your pursuit of a new and confdent you!

Have a lovely weekend!


Look here ....... one for FREE and the other for FREEDOM!



by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#life #confidence #risk #happiness#insecurity#coaching #coach #lifecoach #confidencecoach