Category Archives: Happiness

Rest a while

The more we can cram into a day, the more righteous we feel

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What about having a rest?

Is taking time out of your day to relax, a treat, a necessity or a very naughty thing to do?

It may feel a bit of each but let’s focus on the middle one: necessity.

It’s easy to get bogged down with stuff that we have to do on a daily basis.

If you relax, it means that something on your list will have to wait.

To take some time out can feel as though you’re cheating in some way.

The reality is that relaxation is necessary for your well being.

It also gives you renewed energy to be able to tackle everything else that you have to get done.

Have you ever found yourself staring at a job that needs doing without actually starting it?

You feel just as worn out after the long hard stare as if you’d carried out the task, but it remains undone.

Very often this can be because you’re feeling overwhelmed with all of the things that you’ve got to get done.

Or you’re tired from having been on the go for so long.

Either way you’d benefit from a break.

 Taking time out of your day, or week, to do something fun, or even to do absolutely nothing but rest, can be very beneficial.

Can you make time for yourself?

Can you find time to do whatever it is that makes you happy?

I’m guessing that you can make time, so the real question is, will you make time.

Will you?

Do call if there’s anything that I can help with but otherwise, enjoy!

Bye for now and look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

Happiness, eh?

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How much happiness do you have in your life?

Loads or not much?

Happiness can seem an elusive thing sometimes.

If you aren’t feeling as happy as you could be, what might be behind this?

Maybe you do feel happy but have a feeling that something is holding you back. Something is nipping at your heels all the time and upsetting your peace of mind.

If this is the case for you, do give it some thought.

What might be behind these feelings?

In order to be truly happy, we need to establish what is going on for us that is creating these negative feelings.

If there’s an area of your life that doesn’t feel good to you, can you change it?

Should you change it?

Will you change it?

As far as we know we only live once, so do you feel you should make this the best life possible?

Consider this in deciding whether to change a negative aspect of your life.

If you need any help then please do get in touch for a chat.

Otherwise I wish you all the best in digging deep to discover what it is that’s hampering your happiness, and clearing it.

It might not be easy but it will definitely be worth it!

Here’s to a happier future!

Look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

Why does confidence matter?

Does it matter? Really?

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Surely you can fake it...

Yes you can fake it but where does that take you?

Does being confident mean that you're the first one on the dance floor?


Does it mean that you can ask someone out on a date without much fear?


There are lots of ways that we can define confidence but real, true confidence is in how you feel about yourself.


If you don't love yourself and feel good about who you are, then you can pretend to be confident as much as you like but it won't help you to feel any better.


I hope that you gain some insight through this video into how confident you really are.


Does the result surprise you?


I'd love to hear how you get on!


Do get in touch for a chat if I can help with anything.


Look forward to speaking soon!

Links from the video:

To get your photo judged:

https://www.photofeeler.com/

David Green Photographer:

https://www.shootmenow.co.uk/brighton-headshot-professional-photographer

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

How good is your life?

Are you happy with all areas of your life? Some areas? Or none?

life-coach-Jessica-Hylands

If the latter, how long has this been going on?

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Is that good advice?

In terms of making changes within yourself then yes it’s definitely good advice.

We can make up a lot of reasons as to why we should put off doing something:

I haven’t got the time.       Does it really matter?           Will it work?

confidence-coaching-jessica-hylands

These reasons are excuses that we make because we don’t want to do it.

You may not want to do it because you tell yourself that it won’t work.

Maybe on a deeper level you’re worried that it will work ….and then what?

Your whole life will change!

How will you cope?!

If you could wave a magic wand and have some changes already made within yourself or your life, what would it be?

 Would you be fitter?

Smarter?

Have a better job?

A nicer partner?

life-coach-jessica-hylands

Wave the magic wand and consider it done.

So it might take a bit longer than waving a wand in reality.

Let’s say it takes you six months to achieve it. A year even.

Won’t it be worth the effort over that time in order to have the rest of your life being a shining version of what is now?

It will be wonderful to have a life that you love rather than feel is ‘OK’.

Sometimes it’s better that it takes a while to make the change rather than it being instant with a magic wand (assuming for this example that there is such a thing!).

The reason for this is that if we could make changes instantly it might be that we make the wrong change and in the longer term we feel the same, or maybe even worse than we do now.

It can take time to know exactly what it is that we want. 

Sometimes the thought of achieving what we want can be scary. This can be enough to put us off starting it.

Don't let it. 

When the change is made over time, you are adjusting inside along the way so by the time the change is complete, you are ready for it.

You aren’t changing from the person you are today, straight into the person that you want to be.

You aren’t changing overnight from someone who’s too scared to speak to people into someone who is happy to be the life and soul of the party.

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Doing it overtime, you will gradually change

The bottom line is that if there’s something that you want in life that you don’t have at the moment, whether  that’s a better paying job, a better social life, a partner, or a fitter and slimmer body, now is the time to start making that change.

The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago or today….

How big will the tree of your dreams be this time next year….?

Do get in touch for a chat and let's see what we can do about it.

Look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

Do you have enough relaxation in your life?

Have you just about had enough?

stress-relaxation

Work is too stressful.

The kids don’t respect you.

Your partner never listens.

These things may be true and indeed need to be addressed, but sometimes, the answer is easier than you think.

If your basic needs aren’t being met, EVERYTHING else becomes a challenge.

Are you getting enough sleep?

tired-sleep-coaching

If you’re dieting, are you getting enough fuel?

If overeating is a habit, is too much of your energy being spent trying to deal with the overload on your system?

There can be lots of reasons to feel that you are at the end of your tether, but this feeling will be a symptom of other things, not an issue in itself.

While the root cause does need to be resolved, in the meantime, look at how you can make your day-to-day life easier.

What would replenish you?

A massage?

A walk in the country?

Skipping through the rain in bare feet?

Luxuriating in peace in a hot bath – and if this means taking an hour off in the day to do it when the house is quiet and empty, then maybe you can organise this.

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Treat yourself to whatever will lift your spirits.

When you read the words ‘Treat yourself’, what is your response?

Do you think ‘Yeah right!’

And if so, what does that ‘Yeah right’ mean?

Does it mean that you haven’t got the time?

Or does it mean that you don’t feel you’re worth it?

If the former, think again.

It may feel difficult to justify taking time for yourself when there are so many others things that need doing, but that isn’t the same as not having the time.

If you have a pet or a child and they got ill, would you take them to the vets / doctors?

Or would you find yourself saying ‘That will have to wait because I haven’t vacuumed upstairs yet.’

Of course you wouldn’t think that.

You would grab them and get them sorted pronto. 

You'd find time for that.

It’s a clear cut contest between helping someone you love who is ill, versus getting the vacuuming done.

OK, so being stressed isn’t the same as being ill (yet  …… It will catch up with you), but you don’t have the time to do anything about it?

What we mean by ‘don’t have time’ is that we are prioritising other things.

time-confidence-coaching

And that's not the same as not having the time.

So, the two most common reasons for not treating yourself are:

1. You don’t have time.

2. You’re not worth it.

Having established that not having time isn’t a valid reason (ie we can find time if we really needed / wanted to), it must mean that you don't think you’re worth it.

You can find time for a loved one in need, but not for yourself.

How come you don’t warrant the same attention?

Don’t you matter?

Of course you matter!

Maybe others are telling you that you don’t matter.

Not in so many words…..

Perhaps your partner wouldn’t be too pleased to hear that you’ve ‘wasted’ a couple of hours doing 'nothing'.

The message received here may be that you don’t deserve it.

You do deserve it!

Not only do you deserve it but you need it.

Time to relax and treat yourself is a necessity not a frivolous ‘want’.

Do you imagine that you can continue at full pelt in your life without suffering any ill effects?

I’m guessing that if you’ve got this far in reading this article that you are someone who doesn’t give themselves enough attention.

Make it your responsibility to look after yourself.

It may be that no-one else will insist that you take time to replenish your emotional and energy supplies.

I’m giving you permission to recharge your batteries!

If you need any further convincing then look at the oxygen mask analogy:

If you don’t look after yourself (ie put your own oxygen mask on first) ,you may not be able to look after anyone, or anything else very effectively.

So, taking time for yourself to relax and enjoy the moment is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Spending some time doing this on a regular basis will make you feel calmer, more in control, and more able to cope with whatever is in your path.  

Once you are feeling more in a state of calm, it will be easier to look at all areas of your life with better perspective. You can then clearly see where the problems are and what you need to do about them.

Life-coaching-with-confidence

In itself this will make things less stressful for you.

I do hope you manage to juggle your diary to fit in some ‘me time’.

It will be worth it.

Please do get in touch if you are finding this difficult as I do appreciate that it may go against the grain for you, and therefore be hard to implement.

Let me help you re-balance your life. 

Do get in touch for a chat.


Look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

Living true to yourself is the way to happiness

Happiness is being 'YOU'

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Who is the real you?

Do you know the real you? 

You may have spent so many years being this other person that you're not sure who you really are.


Why did I never pursue my dream to be a dancer / accountant / artist / solicitor?


Think about that.


What was the reason?


Fear? Laziness? Or did it not occur to you to take it seriously?


It's important to live the life that you want.


If this feels out of your reach, it isn't.


You can do whatever you want to do.


Step 1: Think about what you want to do / be. Work-wise, socially, spiritually, anything.

Step 2: Think about why you haven't done it up to now.

Step 3: Grab that reason and dissect it. Really look at what it means. Uncover what's behind it and holding you back.  


If this is too big a step for you to do alone, do get in touch for a chat.


Otherwise, I wish you all the best with whatever you discover and get rid of!


Look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

How happy have you decided to be?

Life-coach

Happy as a

Spring lamb!

Most people are as happy as they want to be.


That may feel a bit harsh if you are in the midst of a bad time.


But I'm afraid it's true.


We can tell this by looking at different people in the same  circumstances.

One being happy and one not.


It's usually because the happy person has decided that they aren't going to let the situation worry them.

 

The unhappy person can't see past the horrible stuff and so feels bad.


To hear that our happiness is in our own hands can sound

FANTASTIC 

or catastrophic...... 


Fantastic! because we're in control and can do something about it.

Catastrophic because we're in control and can do something about it.


..... Hmmmm


It may seem daunting but it really is good news that we are in control of it.


It may not be easy, but you can do it.


Give it a go.


Try seeing something small in a positive light first and see if you can work your way up to seeing bigger things more positively.


I do appreciate that this is far from easy but it will be worth it.


Do give me a call if you'd like to talk about how I can help,  otherwise I wish you all the best in changing your mind about things and becoming happy!


Look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

Christmas…. Love it or hate it?

What does the thought of Christmas do to you?

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Does the sound of a Christmas Carol make you join in, or squirm?

"Deck the halls with boughs of Holly, fa-la-la-la-laaaaa-la-la-la-la!!"

To be fair, hearing a Christmas Carol in a shop in October is likely to make us all squirm.


For some of us though, Christmas can be a real problem.


When we hear people moaning about Christmas, it may not just be mild annoyance at the whole thing.


It could be that it is causing a lot of emotional pain.


Take a look at the video and let me know what you think.


If you would like to know how you can enjoy every Christmas then get in touch and let's talk about it!


Have a lovely weekend!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

If you had a magic wand….

If you had a magic wand in your hand, what would you do with it?

I wish

Do you know instantly what you would wish for or will it take some thought?

They say 'Be careful what you wish for...'

Why should you be careful about what you wish for?


If you want something then you want it.


Right?


Hmmm.


It may not be that simple.


An example of this can be wanting to win the lottery.


Universally it seems that we imagine that having loads of money will be the answer to all of our dreams.


The reality is that this probably wouldn't be the case.


I'm sure it would be lovely to be rich in some respects but the reason that you don't feel good at the moment is very likely still going to be there. 


This can be shown by the answer to this question:


Q: Are all rich people happy?


A: Most definitely not.

white background lilac floral break

Let's say that 'trust' is an issue for you.


If you can't trust people now, how do you image that would be if you had pots of money?


Do you think you'd be able to read people better then?


Be able to tell whether someone is drawn to your personalty or there is some other reason they're hanging around with you?


So think about what you want.


Then think again.


Is it really what you want or do you imagine it will be a vehicle to get you something else?


Not easy to think in this way but worth trying before you spend too long chasing the wrong thing.


Do call if you need any help but otherwise I wish you all the best with getting everything that you want in life!


Look forward to speaking soon!

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence

What are you like?

What you think of yourself will impact greatly on every area of your life.

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Do you love yourself?

Loving and liking yourself may not feel easy with all that stuff from your past weighing on you


Let's talk.


Bye for now and speak soon.

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by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

#lifecoaching #confidence