Are your thoughts creating negative emotions?
Spending a lot of time alone can make your head hum.
If it starts to hum it will usually be down to one of two things:
- Unresolved issues
Whichever the reason, it can become quite difficult to cope with.
Your thoughts start going round in circles and get more and more intense.
What may have started as a small niggling issue gets blown out of all proportion and ends up feeling as though it’s going to swallow you whole.
I hope this video helps to shed some light and gives you a way forward.
Please do get in touch if you would like to talk about anything you’re going through.
Let's see how I can help.
Look forward to speaking soon.
Bye for now!
Hello I’m Jessica Hylands Life Coach.
It may be the case that you’re spending a lot of time on your own at the moment.
I appreciate that for some that will sound like a holiday. Those with younger children or those in the care and medical fields will be thinking ‘Time to myself?!’ What’s that?’
And we all salute you. You’re doing an amazing job and we’re all so so grateful to you all.
For the rest of us, whilst our problems pale by comparison, they may still be there.
So, are you getting a lot of time alone?
Are you finding it difficult?
I’m spending a lot of time alone but as I work from home normally it’s not so different for me. I’m still seeing clients via video and so whilst I’m physically alone, I don’t feel cut off from the outside world.
How about you?
Are you still able to work? If so, is it a very solitary job or are you liaising with clients and colleagues? Maybe having video meetings.
At the very other end of the scale will be those of you who can’t go to work because your job isn’t something that can be done at home, and you’re living alone.
For all of us it’s a big change and we’ve had to devise different way of running our day to day lives.
Even if you’re working full-time from home there is still a lot of time in the evenings and at weekends when normally you might be going to the gym, going shopping, taking the kids to the dentist, the pet to the vets, meeting friends and so on. And that is time when maybe you’ll be relaxing. And having time to think.
There are different ways that the mind will wander when we have time to think in this relaxed way.
You may be planning what you’re going to do with your future. Working on the idea for that book you’re going to write.
Maybe you’re thinking nothing. You’ve been working so hard this past year and have hardly had any time off and so you are recharging. Catching up on some well-earned rest.
Or maybe you’re thinking about yourself.
Thinking about things that bother you from the past. People that bother you in the present. How your life haven’t gone as you’d intended or would have liked.
When we have a lot of time to think, our problems can appear magnified.
At the moment, you possibly have no outlet for the feelings, or nothing to disguise it.
In our normal day to day lives, if we start to feel a bit fwer, we’d say, I don’t feel so good, I’m going to the gym, going for a run, going to meet some friends.
At the moment we say fwer, I’m not feeling so good.
Oh woe is me.
I’m never going to feel better.
And potentially the downwards spiral of poor old me will start.
It’s not fair is it?
You’ve worked so hard and look where you are. Not happy.
So how about we use this time productively. This time, which hopefully won’t ever be repeated, but a situation where we have time to ourselves doing nothing that we would normally fill with stuff. Tennis, dancing, going out. Let’s use this extra time to get some thinking done.
So, you’re spending a lot of time in your own head - well, you can’t spend it in anyone else’s - and this is bringing up some stuff for you.
You’re feeling dissatisfied. Unhappy.
What is it that you’re feeling unhappy about?
Really think about what’s spoiling things for you.
Is it really a thing, or are you just feeling bored and looking for some drama?
If you suspect in your heart of hearts that it’s drama you’re looking for, create it elsewhere.
Get the adrenaline going! You can do this with something physical. If you’re a runner, go for a faster or longer run than normal. If you’re not a regular exerciser, do something strenuous for you. Gardening maybe. Go for it. Wear yourself out. By the time you sit down in the evening after a day of strenuous activity, you’ll probably find that your mind is calmer and not looking for the stimulation that the internal dramas seemed to be giving you.
So if you realise that the thing that you’re feeling miserable over isn’t actually a thing, that trick might work.
Or, on reflection, you decide that the thing you’re feeling unhappy about is a thing.
You are fed up with your partner, your family, your work, your friends, your house.
So, now you have a starting point.
You know what it is that you’re fed up about. Now think about why.
Is it something that your friends have done, or that they do that upsets you?
Is your job something that you’ve fallen into rather than something that you achieved by design?
Think about what it is that upsets you. Then think about how it would have to be different in order for you to love it?
Now you have a springboard for the next stage.
You know what’s wrong. You know how it needs to change.
The next step is how can you make this change happen?
Is it by talking to someone or a few people about it? If it’s about where you work, is it about moving desks, moving departments, moving to another firm, or even changing the field that you work in. Something completely new.
Whatever answer you find.
You’ve found it.
Now go and implement these findings. Talk to the person that’s making you unhappy and see if you can get things to change. Talk to your boss about the changes you’d like to make. Or start training for that new career.
Easier said than done I appreciate, and as ever, please do get in touch if you’d like to talk about what you’re experiencing. We can talk about how I can help, and see where you want to take it from there.
Otherwise I wish you all the best in using what may be downtime for you, to get some things clearer in your head, in order to take action.
Thanks for listening.
Bye for now!
Look here ....... one for FREE and the other for FREEDOM!
by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach