Is your approach the right one?
When we're feeling uptight or upset about something, it takes conscious effort not to share the joy of that with others.
How does that affect you?
You may feel that it doesn't affect you. In fact you may feel it helps for you to get things off your chest.
This may be the case if it's a specific and isolated event that's caused you to feel this way but what if you are feeling like it most of the time?
If this is the case for you then how do you imagine you make others around you feel?
If you are constantly feeling agitated and angry, then you may not necessarily be aware of the cause.
It could be something that you buried years ago. Something so long ago that you've forgotten the incident and assumed it dealt with.
It may be something current about yourself, your life or about others.
Naturally this needs to be addressed in order for you to live a happy and contented life, but as it stands today, how are your actions affecting you?
You have to call your energy supplier because you have a query on your bill.
The person at the end of the phone either doesn't understand your query, is unable to help, or gives you an answer that you don't like.
If you have this latent aggression you are likely to snap at them. Probably telling them how useless they are.
The effect that this will have on you is that the person at the end of the phone will be upset or annoyed.
They are far less likely to help you out with your problem than they otherwise might have been.
On a personal level you may feel the need to tell colleagues or friends about their apparent failings.
This is likely to cause them to put up a barrier between you.
So what can you do about changing your attitude?
On a day-to-day level, be conscious of what you're doing.
When you have a problem with perhaps a purchase that you've made, before you pick up the phone or enter the shop, stop and think.
Think about what you're going to say. Think about what you'll do when they say something that you deem to be stupid and incompetent.
Remember that they won't suddenly become the font of all knowledge simply because you tell them what an idiot they are.
So plan ahead. Remember, when they say something that you take exception to, smile. Keep your voice pleasant and ask whatever the next step is.
You will find that not only are you likely to get better service but you will feel calm at the end of the encounter, whatever the outcome.
If it's a personal matter, you know when you're about to say something that either you or the other person might regret, so check yourself. If what you're about to say isn't constructive, keep it to yourself.
A hard habit to break but keep at it!
Ultimately you want to clear whatever it is that's causing you to feel so uptight and anxious.
If you know what this is then now is the time to start working on it.
If you don't know what causes this feeling in you and you'd like some help to clear it then do get in touch.
You've possibly had many years of feeling anxious, aggrieved and maybe even unhappy.
Let's make the years ahead happy, carefree and tolerant of others (however annoying they might be!).
Do get in touch and we'll arrange a chat to discuss what you're experiencing and how I might help.
Look forward to speaking soon. Bye for now!
Look here ....... one for FREE and the other for FREEDOM!
by Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach