Step Three 

to a happier life

It can take a lot of confidence to live the life that YOU want

Time for yourself is a must and not an indulgence

In today’s society, we see working 24/7 as a badge of honour. We consider it an admirable trait to hear of someone working all the hours under the sun.

But is it a good thing?

You may work so hard that you become too tired to enjoy – or even have – a social life.

Your idea of a great weekend may be catching up on sleep.

So, how do you feel about taking a day off just to ‘be’.

Not because you have some great plans but just to switch-off and relax.

What constitutes relaxing will be different for us all:

Dog relaxing
  • Watching TV all day
  • Sitting at a cafe to watch the world go by
  • Reading a book for fun and not education
  • Going on a 10k run
  • Gardening
  • Surfing
  • Taking a long, relaxing soak in the bath

Do you take time to do your thing?

Do you, or can you envisage, taking a day to do something fun, for no particular reason?

Are your weekends full of housework, supermarket trips and running round after the kids?

Do you mark out time for you to do whatever you fancy, even if that is sitting down relaxing?

If you think about doing that, what is the emotion that comes up. Pleasure? Excitement? Guilt?

Do you have the ability to take time for yourself with no guilt?

When someone walks into the room and you’re sitting down reading a magazine, do you say hello and continue to read, or find yourself making excuses as to why you’re there?

“I’ve just this minute sat down!”  “I’ve already prepared dinner and it only has to go in the oven.”

If you feel you have to justify taking some time to yourself, it may mean you need to give this some thought.

Relaxation and fun are a necessary part of your existence.

Switching off will ensure that you recharge your batteries.

It will enrich your soul and bring you happiness which in turn will make you more effective in every area of your life.

Time off isn’t a treat but a necessity.

How do you feel about allowing yourself this time - does it sound good or make you cringe at the thought of taking time purely for yourself?

Write down everything that has come to mind whilst reading the section on taking time for yourself.

If you need some prompts, ask yourself:

  • Do I prioritise time for myself?
  • Do I come after everything, and everyone else, is sorted?
  • What emotions come to the surface when I think of marking time out purely for myself?
  • Why do negative emotions or thoughts arise (if they do). What do they mean? “It’s a waste of time” “There are more important things to be doing” “I feel guilty” “It’s selfish”
  • Go deep and think about why you feel these things.

Take a look at your answers from all sections

What does it show you?

When you look through what you’ve written, it will show you where you are and whether you want to stay there.

You will have an indication as to whether you really feel happy in different areas of your life.

If not, look at the specifics of why not, and this will give you a starting point to finding where you do want to be.

Your answers will show you whether you really are contented.

Again, if not, why not? And what will you do about it?

Will you make a plan to make changes within your relationship / your work / your social life / yourself / your life , so that it fulfils your needs?

Or if you don’t think that’s possible, what will your next step will be?

Maybe talking to a therapist or Life Coach is what you need?

Congratulations on working through these exercises.

I do hope that you’ve enjoyed the journey so far.

What did this course tell you?

You may see what is lacking in your life and what you need to change in it to be happy.

When to get help

The area of life that you’ve been focusing on during this course; how long has it been an issue for you?

What have you tried in the past to put it right?

I’m guessing the answers are that it has been going on for a long time and that you haven’t been able to resolve it.

Is now the right time to get some help?

If that’s your decision, these are your next steps:

  • Schedule a call with me

We’ll talk about what your experiencing and how I can help

  • We will create a plan

 We will unearth what’s at the root of your problems and create a step by step plan going forwards to resolve things for you

  • You will have the future that you currently dream of.
Jessica Hylands Confidence Coach

Please do let me know about what you discovered and have changed as a result. I’d love to hear!

coaching@jessicahylandslifecoaching.co.uk